I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just high enough for therapy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
