Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
