We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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