just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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