Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
This house was built for laser tag.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
