tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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