its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
