Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
