we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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