Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize