hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize