i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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