Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
