i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I love you.
Bad choice
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
