i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He did a backflip because drugs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
