its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
