If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
