direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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