Have you finally orgasmed yet?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
