i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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