my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
