What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
