She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
