he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
