We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
