Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
