Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
