Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
