so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
