Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
