your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
