The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
