you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
