found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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