i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
