Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
