So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
