Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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