I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
