I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize