So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
