She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize