Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
