it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
pray to the hookup gods
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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