Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
