During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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