I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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