So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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