He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
