So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
