Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize