i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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