Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
