these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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