It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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