Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize