I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
