So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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