Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
