after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
